Say you’re working in a job, and your boss is horrible to you.
And you leave the employer because of it.
There are two mindsets you can approach this situation with:
- He was horrible. He forced me out, it’s all his fault. I’ve had to leave because of him.
- He was horrible. I wasn’t willing to be in an environment like that, so I chose to leave.
The first one is full of negativity.
The second one is full of objectivity, and responsibility.
You might feel uncomfortable with the idea in #2 that leaving was ‘your decision’. You might feel strongly that you didn’t ‘decide’ it at all: it was forced upon you.
But that mindset only harms yourself. It creates negativity within yourself that causes you to suffer. And likely ultimately causes those around you to suffer.
It denies reality, denies what is, instead of accepting what is. And denying what is only causes more suffering.
Your mind might tell you that it’s necessary to harbour that disdain for the person who caused you to act in the way you did. But on some level that’s because your mind wants to keep the negativity going. The mind thrives on that sort of thing. The narrative. The story. The ego.
But do YOU really want to keep the negativity going? Does any sane person choose negativity once they realise they have the choice?
Even if you did something because of someone else, try to take responsibility for the way you choose to act in response.
You’ll be infinitely more content for it.
