Most of your emotions are caused by the thoughts you’re having about the situation you’re in, not by the situation you’re in directly.

Want to feel less shitty more often?

Reframe the thoughts.

How?

Next time you’re feeling a difficult feeling about a situation, take a look at what thoughts are in your head. Write out:

1. Objectively, what is the situation
2. What thought do I have about the situation
3. What emotion or feeling is present as a result
4. What thinking bias is being exhibited in this thought?
5. What evidence do I have for the thought being true?
6. What evidence do I have for the thought being false?
7. What’s a more balanced thought I can replace my default one with?

For example:

1. Situation: my biggest client cancelled their contract
2. Thoughts: I’m no good at this, I’m a failure, I shouldn’t be running a business
3. Feeling: sad, ashamed
4. Thinking bias: personalising, labelling, shoulds and musts
5. Evidence for: none, really
6. Evidence against: they got value in the past, and other clients are still getting value from me
7. Balanced thought: It is sad that they cancelled, but I’m still great at what I do, and I can focus on my other clients