I’ve been thinking a lot recently about what it means to live “in the moment”. It was a phrase I’d heard of but never really considered what it meant or whether I was doing it.

It turns out I often wasn’t. I’d often seek short-term enjoyable activities to escape from any negative emotions I might be feeling (I’d never really learnt how to cope with any kind of negativity - a topic for another post another day). I had a bit of a one day, when everything perfectly falls into place, then I’ll be really happy mentality, not realising that what’s important is what’s going on right now—and if you have that mentality of always waiting for something you’ll always have that mentality. You’ll never feel like you’ve arrived and you’ll miss out on your entire life.

The other thing I realised was that at times where external/materialistic things in my life were naturally “better”, I was naturally better at living in the moment. Which makes sense—you don’t need to escape the present if you’re happy with it, or if you’re already distracted enough from it by other people and things.

At those times, making positive change is easier. I was naturally more confident and outgoing, so more opportunities arose, which made me happier, which made me more confident and outgoing, and so on, in a self-reinforcing loop.

The problem with that is that inevitably there comes a day when those external motivators aren’t there any more, or worse ones arise and overshadow them. This is inevitable, eventually.

And when that happens, the precariously balanced deck of cards collapses. The loop breaks. You’re back to old habits, old anxieties and worries, and either becoming depressed or finding shallow ways to avoid the moment and hope the future is better (which becomes less and less likely because, to a large extent, your mindset creates your own future).

The solution, I now believe, is twofold: mindfulness to learn to be at peace with the moment as it is, feel the emotions you’re feeling and start to see the mind for what it really is: something that shows up in you but is not you. And creating new habits to nourish the body and mind, even if you don’t feel like it at first.

In doing so you’ve hijacked your way into a new and healthier loop: the positive changes make you feel better about yourself in the immediate term, the mindfulness helps you feel content because of what’s happening in the immediate term, that more positive content mindset will likely lead to external benefits, but you don’t need it to.

The changes I’ve introduced over the last couple of months:

Diet

Not making any drastic changes or cutting anything out altogether, but definitely eating a higher proportion of fresh food to processed food throughout the week. Reintroduced breakfast. Enjoying cooking things from scratch.

Used to treat cooking as a task to be completed as quickly and efficiently as possible in order to have the food to eat… but then saw eating as a task to be completed as quickly as possible in order to move on to whatever I was doing next. Repeat ad infinitum with all activities. Now - cooking mindfully - and then eating mindfully - is so much more fulfilling.

Exercise

Something I’ve often dipped in and out of—more likely to want to do it when things are already going well, rather than seeing it as a source of satisfaction in its own right.

5-a-side - was already doing this weekly where possible

Running - tried this last year but got bored in the end. Have revisited it now, but being mindful: meaning paying attention to each step / breath / the surroundings, rather than finding anything to distract from those (how long is left, how far I’ve run, and music). Much more engaged with it now, much more enjoyable. Incidentally finding the same with walking - used to hate it and see it as totally pointless (unless there was a goal / destination to walk to, like the shop). Now I’m doing it mindfully, I’m loving it.

Want to start doing strength / muscle work too. Started with push-ups but would like a more varied and balanced program, so am about to go to the gym and get advice / possibly personal trainer.

Posture

I don’t think I have great posture. Partly from sitting all day, partly from anxiously hunching over as a teenager, partly from muscle strength (or lack thereof…)

Looking into whether the strength training will help with this or whether Pilates (or yoga) would make sense instead / as well.

Meditation

It’s mind training. The mind spends so much time throwing unnecessary thoughts at us (often negative ones), and we see it as normal. It’s the source of all dissatisfaction. Meditation is essentially learning to accept the thoughts and feelings, but also training them to not show up unwanted. Huge benefits for me.

I use the Headspace app, it’s great.

Therapy

Always thought this was a great thing, but for someone else. Now think it’s great for me too (and probably for everyone).

It’s odd how hot everyone is on getting regular checkups for the calcium structures in your mouth but most people don’t see any reason to do the same for their mind.

Piano

Played on and off since I was a kid. Got back into it now. Actually find it’s a really good tactic for calming my mind, like meditation. Can get “in the zone”. Sharing what I’m playing more too, particularly with my little nieces and nephews, is serving as great motivation.

Spanish

Learning Spanish. Enjoying it. Doesn’t need to have a reason, just enjoying each step of the journey.

Working in public

This blog. I’m committing to sharing something on here every weekday when possible for the rest of the year, to train that sharing muscle and to train the “I don’t care whether people like it or not, it’s for me” muscle.