When something happens to someone else, we often feel a certain way about it.

It can be beneficial to separate out:

• What is the observable thing that happened
• What am I feeling about it
• What meaning can I ascribe to that feeling
• Is that meaning focused inwardly or outwardly

By inwardly or outwardly, what do I mean?

If I see online that my friend Anna has launched her startup and made $50k during launch week. I might conclude many different things. Here are 4 examples:

• That’s a lot. Anna is so smart.
• That’s not a lot. Anna is kinda dumb.
• That’s a lot. I’m so envious—I want that much money.
• That’s not a lot. I’m proud of myself for making more than that.

The first 2 are outward focused. I’m making a judgment or analysis of Anna.

The latter 2 are inward focused—I’m taking what I observe and finding a way to proactively apply it to my own growth.

(There’s a question as to whether comparing your own life situation to someone else’s is beneficial generally, but insofar as you are making comparisons, I believe the inward ones are beneficial and the outward ones are detrimental.)