I don’t create the soy sauce, the microorganisms do. I just create the environment where they can thrive.

–Yasuo Yamamoto

Most things aren’t in our control.

It can feel nice to be able to control a situation. And so we pretend to ourselves that more stuff is in our control than actually is. But that’s not how the world works, and so trying to keep that control is net negative.

For example, doing creative work. We can’t control whether that spark of creative inspiration comes to us. Yes, maybe it’s more likely to come if we sit ourselves in a more comfortable environment, for longer, without distractions. Write anything, without worrying how good it is. Those are great. Maybe walking helps too. That’s cool. We can control those things. But the actual creativity is nothing to do with us. It comes from beyond.

And in a social interaction with a new person. We can control where we focus our attention. Maybe we can control what we say. But we can’t control how the other person reacts. How much of your inner world are you giving up to trying to make the other person respond a certain way or worrying whether they’ll respond a certain way?

Very little is in our control. Accept that, and everything becomes easier. And you’ll get what you want more often, too.